If you have been harmed, insulted, cut, hit, kicked, bent, murdered, beheaded, shot, stabbed, slashed, poked, spindled, tortured, hanged, drawn, quartered, poisoned, kidnapped, flayed, eviscerated, drowned, thrown, bludgeoned, martyred, clubbed, beat, bashed, bruised, or if you have had a personal belonging stolen, a limb removed, unwanted sexual advances made toward you, or involuntary exploratory surgery performed on you by a member of the Imperial Council, then you may consider this letter a formal apology.

We of the Empire are very sorry that any of the above happened to you, and we are sorry for the way that the Council Member acted. We hope that you, loyal citizen of the Empire, can find it in your heart to accept that even those who are far greater in every respect than us can have a moment or two of lapsed judgment.